Ex-patriot always strikes me as a strange word. If I hadn’t already known it to simply mean “American citizen living abroad”, then I would think it is something like “someone who is no longer a patriot (loyal member or fan)” and therefore “anti-American” in some sense. I personally am not “anti-American”, but I honestly am not sure I understand the USA much anymore. I moved to Japan in 2009, and apparently, from 2013 (according to Jonathan Haida) America started to become “stupid” due to the internet and social media largely being used to simply sling random political memes back and forth and comment about them (namely Facebook?). In any case, not having been in the country for nearly 17 years (except for a 5-month period between 2015-2016), I have largely felt myself more and more distant from my country of origin. My life here also is with Japanese and in Japanese and have very few conversations with an English speaker (perhaps once every two months or so…).
Ah, but I do have some conversations with my parents back home. But, they also seem to be just as confused as to what is going on. It is as if a great shift in mood and attitude took place, and almost everyone is unsettled. From talking with them, I wonder about the numbers of people on the extreme left and right. The way politics have been done recently, I tend to assume that the general population is the same. But, when I talk with people, as always, there is much more nuance than that and I wonder if both people on the left and right are frankly tired of everything.
But while I feel more and more distant from my country, what my country does will still affect me and perceptions of me. As of until now, America was no dictatorship, nor did it go about taking over other countries (well, that depends upon what one means by “take over”, as there was a lot that happened in Central America), but for the most part, I didn’t feel too much like one of the “bad guys”. Yes there is a sad history with Japan and the USA, but that was in the past and, things are better right? Now if the USA did become a power that would take over other countries (like Greenland), that would make my life and work here much, much more difficult. Because regardless of however I live my life here, my nationality is still the USA and what happens there affects how I introduce myself and talk through different topics. In one sense, if the USA went and did something utterly atrocious, I will lose my voice to a great extent. Even though I may not personally sin, there is still somewhat of a corporate identity in certain circumstances and places. I might find myself apologizing more often than I would like too…
In any case, with the rapid shifts in culture, divisions in politics, and escalation of power games, I continue to feel unsure about the future for many legitimate reasons. But, as is mentioned in Esther, perhaps for reasons unknown, God has me at this time and in this place for a good reason. I believe that and will hold onto that through the ups and downs of this strange era.
Quinby 